The fact of the matter is- I’ve never lost a dog that I’ve loved. Until now.
I never knew how bad it would hurt. I never expected to miss the most aggravating things he did.
I remember a couple dogs we had as kids. You wouldn’t know it now, but I was scared to death of every animal when I was a kid. So I didn’t get close to them. And they didn’t die. We simply gave them away because I was scared of them.
So, I can honestly say that I’ve only deeply loved two of my own dogs. One is still with me. I’ve had him for about 12 years now. He is my baby and I’m trying to accept that he’s getting older.
The second.. Boaz.
About three years ago, we moved into our new home. The home we have big plans for. We plan for it to be our forever home. We are slowly putting our little farm together.
We moved in and were so excited. Then life happened. My dad was told he need open heart surgery. So the process began. Doctors visits, dates booked. Surgery. A long and painful recovery. My heart was hurting.
I saw a post on a friends page. A dog had wandered into her husband’s work and he brought him home. They had no luck finding the owner and planned to keep him. But their dog didn’t like the idea, so they began looking for him a home. I shared and shared and shared again. I called friends that I knew who were in rescue and none of them had availability.
Then came the one week deadline. They needed to find a home for him before they flew out of the country. The shelter was their last option. Unfortunately, our county shelter is a kill shelter and dogs that have any trace of pitbull in them are the first to go. So I begged and I pleaded with my husband to give him a chance.
We weren’t looking for a dog. I had convinced myself that we would give him a home until I could find him a permanent one. But I fell in love. Hence the name “Boaz.” From one of the greatest love stories in the Bible. And so our love story began.
Within the first week, I had completely fallen in love with this dog. I spent every day outside with him, training and loving him. You remember that hurting heart I had? Gone. He made me laugh. Within a week, he had learned three new tricks.
I watched him play with our boys for hours and almost immediately knew I could trust him with them.
Every time I went outside and sat on the bench, there he was. He thought he was supposed to be my lap dog.
How quickly he became my best friend and my protector. About only a year after we got him, he showed how loyal he was. My little dog got loose and ran to the road where two dobermans were being walked by their owner. I ran out after him and when I picked him up, the dobermans came after me. Boaz ran through the shock barrier, getting shocked in the process, and fought the dogs away from me. He got hurt in the process, but he protected me and Oscar. What a loyal friend.
He wasn’t that great at being a farm dog. He thought the chicks should be his snack, but he was learning. I was proud of his progress. One night I went out to feed the chicken. Of course, he was right behind me (he was, after all, my shadow). I was bent down petting the chicken when he decided to bark loudly in my ear. I was so frustrated. He hated water, so I decided to take the pitcher full I had in my hand and throw the water over my head, all over him to teach him a lesson. It wasn’t the best idea. I ended up dumping the very cold water all down my own back. Boaz was bouncing around like a jelly bean and I just knew he was laughing and thinking “haha you didn’t get me.” I couldn’t help but laugh at myself and so I went and sat down on the steps and hugged my furry friend.
I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the scattered food that he loved throwing all over the porch. I miss the scratches on my legs from all the big sticks he wanted to play with. I miss being attacked with kisses every time I got home and opened the car door. I miss my best friend.
It is so hard getting out of a routine. I want to go sit on the porch with him every day. I want to run and try to hide, knowing there’s no chance because he’s too fast. I want to go push that stinking blanket back into his doghouse because he drug it out every night onto my porch. I want to feed him and play and laugh at him at night and end the night with a handshake and hugs, like we did every single night. I find myself looking out the window for him. I listen for his bark to let me know that someone is outside. I miss the thumps of him plopping his big self on the bench. I miss his sweet face peering through the back door.
I never imagined how bad the loss of a dog would hurt. I’m a mess right now. How does one get over the tragedy, the image of the playful dog that would always run to you lying on the side of the road as still as he’s ever been? All because I didn’t catch the fact that his shock collar needed to be charged.
My heart hurts so badly right now. I never knew it possible. I will remember every moment spent with him. I will remember the love and the unbreakable bond. I will remember the laughs I got from him. I’ll remember the annoying habits he had. I’ll remember it all and everything in between. I’ll never forget. I’ll always miss him.
I like to believe that all dogs go to Heaven. I like to think that Boaz will be sitting on the steps of my mansion in Glory waiting for me to come. I like to think that his loyalty remains as the memory in my heart. So, fly high my sweet boy. I sure do miss you.
Please pray for me and my family in this time. I believe I’m more of a mess than anyone, but my children definitely miss their playmate. Heath doesn’t fully understand, he keeps saying “God will heal him.” Clay has his moments where he cries and says he misses him. We are struggling.